Mom threatened to disown me for being LDS. Now I have to hide it. (Personal Entry)

(Foreword: This note is 749 words long for your reading ease. Privacy Settings are set so only church friends & former missionaries see this.)

Mom read my “Religious Views” on my profile recently. (It read “LDS in Manhattan; other kinds of Christian elsewhere.")

Mom doesn’t use Facebook; I asked how she saw this. She beat around the bush but I figured she must've looked over my sisters' shoulder when they used Facebook.

She got enraged, threatened to disown me and not welcome me at home ever again. I tricked her into thinking she must've seen something else that APPEARED I was now LDS, but was different from what she thought.

A hurried change to save a familial relationship

Mom demanded me to show her my profile. I took the laptop into the bathroom with the excuse that in her rage, she could've damaged my PC. I changed my Religious Views quickly and removed any allusions that suggested being with the LDS. After, I showed her my (updated) profile. That calmed her somewhat in the meantime; she got more amicable and loving that same evening.

I have to hide my Mormonism from family now. Mom apparently harbors bigoted tendencies; she doesn't want my sisters to date or marry black men. (It's okay to befriend them though.) Now she’s also shown her religious bigotry. When will Mom ever widen her mind like the world demands??

Eligibility for Missionary Training: Goals to Reach

I don't have many years to start missionary training; all student loans must be repaid before enrolling at a Missionary Training Center. I could forge a fake birth certificate and pretend to be born later, but I wouldn’t know where to turn for that and this would be dishonest to a church!

After calculating my situation, I’d have to pay $1,667/month (ONLY for student loans) starting now, in order to finish paying by the latest possible time to start missionary training.

Assuming I'd need another $1,000/month to live reasonably, at $2,667/month, I'd have start earning $32,000 annually THIS MONTH without any vacations. What jobs will pay currently enrolled college students $32,000?

My hope is selling Dad's supply of army surplus on Amazon and other selling sites. (He recently asked me to.) To make $32k annually in sales would be a huge commitment atop my 12 credit-hours per semester. (I'd have to take time off from K-State or get paid better to pay more tuition.)

What a monumental undertaking! IS BECOMING A MISSIONARY REALLY WORTH ALL THIS??

The Missionaries told me the age limit pertained to focusing on marriage and starting a family. Knowing myself, I don’t expect becoming marriage-worthy until after missioning! Many men gain that worthiness while still in college (and a few even in high school!) I have something to hide that various women wouldn't like me for (that I'll reveal on another post when ready) so I know I'll become marriage-worthy sometime after college.

Whether I’m able to marry that soon, the deadline still stands. (At first, I wanted to rush life too, but with life expectancy rising yearly, I decided to mellow through more smoothly. Apparently some antiquated Mormon rules stipulate otherwise.)

I had dreamed for several years to mission in foreign countries. But if I can't repay those loans by this deadline, this now-or-never ship won’t return until AFTER I RETIRE!!!

Gee, what if World War III happens long before retirement?? What if I never get to go mission because the world ends before my retirement!?

Assuming the Apocalypse doesn't happen by retirement, the missionaries told me about being restricted to listen to century-old music or older while missioning. Not that I'd mind this, but I'd be allowed to listen to ELVIS when I get to mission! That should give you an idea of when MY retirement age arrives.

My future as a Mormon

I'll ask Pastor Wangsgaard for an eligibility extension soon; see if he’ll lift my upper age limit so I can enroll in the MTC even after age 27.

If he won't, and I can't miraculously repay $60,000 by then, then I'll entirely drop the Mormon faith and return to my old mainstream Christian ways. I’d feel no further incentive to stay with the Mormons. Other churches will let me mission at whatever age I’ll be, and with less restrictions. Mom wouldn’t mind; she’d feel delighted from my leaving the LDS anyway. If LDS is indeed THE True Church, then God ought to provide the means to keep me there!